Realistic Figure VS. Unreal Barbie Figure

I've never, ever, ever cared about what I look like and how people thought of me as. Not when I was a kid and deffiantly not as a high schooler. But now, I'm starting to notice three lumps attached to my torso, below my breasts, increasing in size the further down they are. Yup, these are my jelly rolls. Which are getting much more bigger (in such little time) than I thought. The reason I'm telling you about my little flubber rolls, is to share to you, that my biggest insecurity of my tummy fat, is finally getting to me..

Since I was young, I was always the bigger girl. No matter which part of my body it seemed to be: legs, arms, belly.. I was always bigger than the girls around me. This is one of the main reasons for quitting hobbies that I used to enjoy such as gymnastics and dance. That was when I was a kid, around 5 and 6. I didn’t even know the meaning of overweight at the age of 6. But now, that I’m older, I realize that as a kid being surrounded by stick girls (Literally.), I shouldn’t have quit. I mean, not that I was good at it anyways, but to quit because I felt to out of place with the stick girls at the age of 6. What the heck? I ask myself what in the world was I thinking? You know what I was thinking about? I was thinking about Polly Pocket, Bratz, & Barbie. How I’d always see one in the store and point it out to my mommie and tell her that’s me. How I’d longed to grow up and be as beautiful as they were. For those of you tom-boys out there who never played with a barbie in your life and never understood why girls had millions of them, we played with them and had millions of them, because we idolized them, for their looks. I can’t tell you how many times, I went through all of barbies clothes and tried to make the perfect outfit. It’s so unreal.

Now, as a teenage girl in high school who is still somewhat surrounded by size 00 girls, still I feel like a misfit. Yes, there are girls who are the same size as me and others who may even be bigger, but I still feel, well, fat. I know what you are probably thinking: Teenage girls don’t need to worry about their weight. Well. I hate to tell you, but I’m pretty sure that every teen girl, no matter how beautiful they feel in the inside, no matter how confident they feel in their skin, no matter how much they weigh, has worried or thought that they were ‘too big’. 

And while us teenage girls are standing in front of the mirror, pinching the fat that we wish we didn’t have; Adults are still oblivious as to why we think that we are fat. They blame it on bullying or something absurd. While bullying might play a role in the way we think, let’s look at the bigger picture. Since we were little tiny tots, we have been practically shown what we should look like. Cause, I don’t know about anyone else. But I don’t remember there ever being a realistic weight barbie or bratz. Then as we got older, the need to be skinny increased as we saw size 00 models on magazines, thin singers, thin celebrities, even cartoons became size 0(how does that even happen?).

The need to become skinny has become such a priority to some girls that they begin to starve themselves or eat and upchuck afterwards. [Neither of which I could relate to, because I love food too much to give it up.] People think of them as crazy and need help, which they do need to seek help right away. The reasons they do this is they aren’t like their idol barbie’s size, they don’t have that flat stomach that the girl on the abercrombie and fitch as does, she thinks she isn’t what she is supposed to be.

 So to those of you who still are reading and do not understand the point I’m trying to make:  The media today has formed such an unrealistic image of what you should look like and has practically brainwashed everyone into believing it.  I mean, some stars have a little flub and they photoshop the crap out of it. For what reason? I guess to please the eyes affected by the media already and to let it sell. I wonder if the magazine medias know that if they start showing bigger, realistic people. They wouldn’t need to go out and spend money on making a celebrity seem perfect. And I for one am sick of always having the feeling that I’m fat when in reality, I’m a perfectly normal size for a real teenage girl. 

I actually have this tiny dream in the back of my head. That if fame ever comes my way, I’ll do things no other star has done. I’ll be daring. I want to be a role model to everyone out there. I’d wear no makeup to star events, I wouldn’t be a perfect size zero and photoshopped in a magazine, I’d wear lazy day stuff and I wouldn’t dare have a closet full of designer stuff. I just want to make a change. Cause everyone is blaming society, but we are society. We can make the change. But we just need someone to start it.