Boys

As a teenager living in a society where hook-ups and sex are 'the thing', you have to try to not be peer pressured. Maybe peer pressure isn't the best term for what I'm trying to explain. The feeling that you aren't doing what everyone else is doing. The feeling that you are a outcast for not doing whatever it is. We are going to call that feeling a type of peer pressure.
I've felt this feeling so many times before. I never fully understand why though. I'm perfectly used to the fact that I'm different, and that I stand out from the crowd. Which is a postivie quality to me, in my eyes at least. So why on God's green earth do I feel any different when it comes to this topic? I don't know...
I'm a virgin. Will I be waiting till after marriage to lose it? You know, I want to think I am. But if a guy comes along, and we've been dating for 2 years or so and I feel like I truely love him. Then I might lose it then... I guess you can never really say, since it all happens in the heat of the moment...
But for now, I think relationships are dumb, and stupid. All the do is cause stress. Not only that but they also take you away from your friends and you tend to close them out and be up the butt of your mate. I can't stand that.
But then there is another part of me, longing to be loved. To have a guy, hold me tight and snuggle with me. To have someone there is comfort me when I need it. Someone who can make my heart beat fast... BLAH.
This part of me has been coming out ALOT lately. & I can't take it anymore. It's so annoying to me to have such conflicting thoughts on relationships. Hormones suck poop...